Dil kya kare ..

silli silli tapti raaton mein
jalton hoon mein barsaton mein
dooba dooba har pal yaadon mein
dil kya kare
apney mein hi khoya rehta hoon
kehna hai kuch kuch kehta hoon
pain ajab sa sehta hoon dil kya kare
ho... aankhon aankhon mein
ho... baaton baton mein
ho... le gaya koi
ho... de gaya koi
salaam-e-ishq ishq ishq salaam-e-ishq

din bhar kuch miss karta hoon
jaane kaise khwaahish karta hoon
bheed mein tanha rehta hoon
dil kya kare
bhool gaya main din saal mahina
january mein bhi aaye pasina
aata hai aaraam kahin na dil kya kare
ho...aankhon aankhon mein
ho... baaton baton mein
ho... le gaya koi hoooo
ho... de gaya koi
salaam-e-ishq ishq ishq salaam-e-ishq

ho ..main jo baithoon toh baitha rahoon
der tak chal padoon toh mein chalta rahoon door tak
ho... chaayi bekaraari udd gaye totey
hanss deta hoon rotey rotey
memory mein koi jaagtey sotey
dil kya kare
ho... aankhon aankhon mein
ho... baaton baton mein hooo
ho... le gaya koi
ho... de gaya koi
salaam-e- ishq ishq ishq salaam-e-ishq

hoo...raaastey bhool jata hoon mein
kyon bhalla
bewajaah gungunaata hoon mein
kyon bhalla
nikloon mein phati jeans phenke
shirt ke na hosh button ke
bajjte hain sab sur dhadkan ke dil kya kare
ho... aankhon aankhon mein
ho... baaton baton mein
ho... le gaya koi
h... de gaya koi
salaam-e- ishq ishq ishq salaam-e-ishq
ho... aankhon aankhon mein hooo
ho... baaton baton mein
ho... le gaya koi
h... de gaya koi
salaam-e-ishq...

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Phew .. we’re done at last .. with those endless discussions .. controversies .. sweat n all .. Felicity’07 is finally through and the success doesn’t surprise me a bit . No plans of scribbling about that .. lots of better equipped writers have done that

So I landed myself a Loafer, one adorable “smooch”able being. But yes these sort of things lead you to lots of time killing. And given, this one is a totally new experience for me, I am bound to spend a fortune on it. pTee says Loafer is armed with the third best brain on the planet .. oh how i love u Loafer .. intel duo core 2, 1gb ram, 100gb hdd, one hell of a laptop!!

Everyone is gung-ho about the fest that has been truly stupendous in terms of cash, clash n claps. The fest has set standards that must necessarily be met every successive year. I’ll save my say for the wrap-up dinner, though I hardly expect myself to come out with what I really feel .. never-the-less. This one has been a truly memorable experience, sweet n sour . Made lots of new friends, worked with ppl who had always been just-another-chap-on-the-campus.. nice .

Frends update

• Meghs and sharmaji finally submitted their first paper for the Roborescue thing .. gg ppl .. u geeks ..
• Ms. Kalakshetra prepares for summer interns .. our posters rocked !!
• Financer gets busy clearing backlog amidst a surprise prize for their dance performance
• Ryena .. thats what ppl call her .. something similar to hyena .. struggles with an awful dsa assignment

Updated paused .. rishita waiting .. have to go n meet someone in cvit .. adios

PS: Some “secret admirer” happens to send me a bouquet on Valentines, thanks dude !! .. But would have been great to get your real name ..

Got to get back to BTP

To pappa

Dear papu,

Lots of hugs and lau to u . how are u and what have u been doing all day ? I know u must ha’been studaying all day at that ofise desk of urs under that table lamp that we giftd u . i came back from school at 1′o clock. mamma brought me home and she was not late. on the way she stopped at mr.grocer and bought lots of food. she did not but any noodles and also did not allow me to buy the new pokemon gizmo. she says i have enuf.when i came home mamma changed my school dress and made me wear home clothes. even today she has made me wear the red shirt and shorts that granny gave. she never ever lets me wear my new pants. . i told her that i will tell papu about it in my letter today. papu i lau u

today at school we learnt a new lesson in english and miss williams said i read very well so i wrote this letter to tell you to bring me a gift today

mamma and myself would be going to market in the evening after i do my homework and i have played in the garden. she says u can use ur new cellphone and call us if you want to buy anything. but first she says i must write this letter to you. she says she has to buy more food for home. all the time she is in the market. do we really eat all that food ?

papu when will you come from ofise ? ok papu i lau u and i miss u

ur lau,

kishshie

Maula Mere .. from Anwar

maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere 

aankhein teri , kitni haseen
ki inkaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
mujhako basaa le, iname tu
(ishq hai maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere )

ki inakaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
mujhako basaa le, iname tu

mujhase yeh har ghadi, meraa dil kahe
tum hi ho usaki aarzoo
mujhase yeh har ghadi, mere lab kahe
teri hi ho sab guftagoo
baatein teri itni haseen, main yaad inko jab kartaa hoon
phoolon si aaye, khushaboo

rakh loon chhupaa ke main kahin tujhako
saayaa bhi teraa naa main doon
rakh loon banaa ke kahin ghar, main tujhe
saath tere, main hi rahoon
julfen teri, itni ghani
dekh ke inako, yeh sochataa hoon
saaye me, inake main jiyoon
(ishq hai
maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere ) 

(meraa dil yahi bolaa, meraa dil yahi bolaa,
yaara raaj yeh usane hai mujh par kholaa
ki hai ishq mohabbat, jiske dil mein
usko pasand karta hai maulaa) 

Little Mermaid

Look at this stuff
Isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl
The girl who has everything?
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you think
Sure, she’s got everything
I’ve got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs?
I’ve got twenty!
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see, wanna see them dancin’
Walking around on those – what do you call ‘em?
Oh – feet!

Flippin’ your fins, you don’t get too far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
Strolling along down a – what’s that word again?
Street

Up where they walk, up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin’ free – wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give if I could live out of these waters?
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
Bet’cha on land they understand
That they don’t reprimand their daughters
Bright young women sick of swimmin’
Ready to stand

I’m ready to know what the people know
Ask ‘em my questions and get some answers
What’s a fire and why does it – what’s the word?
Burn?

When’s it my turn?
Wouldn’t I love, love to explore that shore up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world

…… part of that world

Drab

So another semester gets over and I land in that part of the year when I have all the time for myself. What provokes me to put down my thoughts at this stage is the realisation that this particular semester has been the most different one in more than one way.

It all began with me dropping my honours project because of a fear, a dilemma that had held me captive since a long time. It all kick started with me starting to like the courses in my 4th semester and more so by me performing reasonably well in almost all of them, and then a belief that I was ahead of many in one particular stream. Seniors said given my happy-to-have cgpa professors would more than happy to have me work under them. So off I went on a summer project hunting drive. And God had his way and brought me under one of the best professors the college has at this point of time. But yes, there were always old grudges against him since a long time and the feeling of contempt that had been brooding since a long time. Never the less, the EXoR and RnD showcase period boosted my morale and I signed up for my Summer Project under the same professor. But since this place is now one big horde, only those who were prospective honours students were being taken up. So, I had to agree to an honours programme.

I slogged through the summers, worked harder thanmost other people here. Completed my work on time and met all requirements. No shortcomings, no laxity. No oversleeping or movie-masti-magic business. But came June end and I had to make my choice.

I was still unsure of where my future was leading. I knew I was performing well academically but I always knew I was far behind by most other people in terms of technical knowledge. If well coded assignments, quick alogorithms and sharp questions in class define technical knowledge, then I believe I have it. But deep inside that never-to-go-away intution would always whisper in my ears “Misfit”!!!

I still do not know whether this gamble I have played would get me the results I long for.

I finally dropped my honours after an entire day of deliberations and discussions.

I had always wanted to work hard on a good project. And more so I believed my attitude to complete-as-soon-as-given would help me deliver results at the best possible speed. And I knew I could slog. There was no reason why I couldnt have taken up one the most challenging projects and done it. I knew I would get stuck some where or the other but I also knew I could always wiggle my way out.

But then somehow I started evaluating myself on the parameters of interest and not knowledge. Interest, what is my interest. I knew I could not code for long hours. Nor would I be happy having that big boulder of a-still-tobe-debugged code always on my head. Did I actually make a wrong career choice ? May be I was never made for the profession ? Was this finally the time to re work my choices, set right what had gone wrong ? Was this my last chance to listen to my heart ?

And now when I have made my choice I am so uncertain of the future. Am I putting in sufficient to succeed ?

This semester I have spent more time in the newspaper room than coding.

After all I am a non-honourable student now

If you had my love ….

If u had my love and I gave u all my trust
Would u comfort me
Tell me baby
And if somehow u knew that your love would be untrue
Would u lie to me
And call me baby

Now if I give u me
This is how its got to be
First of all I won’t take u cheating on me
Tell me who can I trust if i can’t trust in u
And I refuse to let u play me for a fool

U said that we could possibly spend eternity
(See thats what u told me thats what u said)
But if u want me
U have to be fulfilling all my dreams
If u really want me baby

If u had my love and I gave u all my trust
Would u comfort me
Tell me baby
And if somehow u knew that your love would be untrue
Would u lie to me
And call me baby

U said u want my love and you’ve got to have it all
But first there are some things u need to know
If u wanna live with all I have to give
I need to feel true love or its got to end, yeah

I don’t want u tryin to get with me
And I end up unhappy
( I don’t need the hurt and I don’t need the pain)
So before I do, give myself to u
I have to know the truth
If I spend my life with u

If u had my love and I gave u all my trust
Would u comfort me
Tell me baby
And if somehow u knew that your love would be untrue
Would u lie to me
And call me baby

Crack up

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerrutti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, and a YSL tie gets out and asks the shepherd: If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?

The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the sheep which graze and says all right. The young man parks the car, connects the notebook and the mobile phone, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He then turns to the shepherd and says: You have exactly 1586 sheep here. The shepherd answers: That’s correct, you can have your sheep. The young man takes his selection and puts it in the back of his jeep.

The shepherd looks at him and asks: If I guess your profession, will you return that animal to me? The young man answers: Yes, why not.

The shepherd says: You are a computer consultant!

How did you know? asks the young man.

Very simple, answers the shepherd: First, you come here without being called. Second, you charge me a sheep to tell me something I already knew. Third, you do not understand anything about what I do, because you took my dog!

Source unknown

Weekend

Thus the extended weekend got over . Phew !!! Reminds of the number from Doors “Light my fire”. It is said to be a great dispeller of Monday Morning blues for the Americans. There was another piece I had read somewhere giving people tips on how to make them feel that they had an extended sleep on Monday Morning. Set your alarm clock to buzz at 6 am instead of 7 when you are actually supposed to wake up. Then you can shut the damn thing up and tell that obnoxious gadget, You dont need to follow it . Njoi another peaceful hour of sleep in your adorable bed and then wake up after an hour like a King who is directed by none .

I had the whole of my time to sleep, idle, hog, sleep, idle and then again hog this weekend. This was besides the nine movies that I watched this weekend. . What larks !!!

The Green Mile: Loved it thoroughly, Tom Hanks restrained and master as always. The elaborately filmed electorucation method for capital punishment and the bevy of onlookers glorifying the horrondus methodology shook me. Could any society be so cynical and

Antitrust: Open source, one man led software giant, geeks coding away to glory are things which we can easily relate to. Stanford graduates working from a garage reminds one of Steve Jobs. But the movie brings forth another fact of the day, that the software and web giants are actually maintaining personalised information about every person using the internet. Google maintains this bank through Orkut, Blogger and Gmail. Though most of us are aware of this fact we are willing to part with that much information about ourself.

Khosla ka Ghosla: Bomen Irani is surely one of the best comedy actors of the day. The movie is set in Delhi and deals with a middle class problem of forced illegal acquisition of land plots by moneyed goons and how the common fights to get back his land. The plot was hillarious and the story pacy. All in all worth a watch, but not worth 100 bucks .

Lage Raho Munnabhai: Contemporary issues, solved by a man who lived six decaded ago. But because his ideology and ideas were such that they apply equally well to every period of time. “Gandhigiri” is here to stay, not because it makes you laugh and solve your problems at the same time, but because it has struck a cord with the Gen-Y, those who are here to stay . Critics say that Gandhism is not about embarrasing people when they are doing wrong, but it is about civil disobedience. They also say that the movie portrays, Gandhiji as a meak man who would get his work done by passive resilience and request, which is not what he adopted in his Satyagrah. Long debate .

Saaya: Sat through this one. Was actually involved in some other job at the same time

Casablanca: Loved this one. Simple movie, cliche though(because I happen to have watched all those Indo-China war based triangle love story movies starring Dharmendra and Mala Sinha). But Rick’s “I dont stick my neck out for anyone” is the cherry on the cake.

Indiana Jones and the raiders of the lost arc: Not very impressive. Watched it for the sake of Harrison Ford. Afterall we share birthdays .

Sin City: Have not completed it as yet .

And yes the song from Woh lamhe, Kya Mujhey Pyaar Hai, is a really good track. You feel like listening to it continuously. Its contagious for sure .

Today, I pulled out an old skirt of mine. I used to wear once in a while when I was in class nine or ten. Its a black and white skirt, with the famous Scottish checks all over. It is slightly above the knees and is cut out as a wrap around . I felt the same old school girl I was seven years ago. .

I was trying to locate my home on wikimap, when the mouse happened to roll over my school. It was labelled as La Martiniere Girls’ College. And along with some grateful words “House of chicks” . Must have been a chap from SFC or LMBC. Carried me back home, to where I belong .

I shall try to upload a wikimap image that shows my school and St.Francis’ Boys College and the secret passage from our school’s backgate to the boys’ college’s backfield. The passage was discovered in the recent past and has been sealed at the gates of the boys’ college .

Tears

Like glistening pearls that adorn my dimpled cheeks, or sometimes when they find their way along my nose ridges, when they are like unconfident and powerless beads of my feelings. When they decide to wear their best suit, they make sure they fall through the centre of their stage, their actions magnified, all so excited by the impending performance, unable to hold back their excitement, pushing the one in front and thus the restrained queue pours out unrestrained as a stream, once the barriers have been broken. I hope to go back home pretty soon. Badly missing people,  , lots of them, special ones . Wish there was some way I could get back. Lack of communication, lack of transparency suffocates me beyond limits.

Its really difficult to find the words to show the way we feel, for truly deep emotions are the hardest to reveal.

All that lies closest to the heart rarely comes onto the lips and when it does, it only does when a heart communicates with another heart. There is something buried deep within, waiting to be realised, expecting its birth once it has assumed its complete beautiful form. Patience